It happens every time I have a friend join any diet MLM.
I get a message on my social media asking how I'm doing.
Usually it has been years since we have had a conversation on social media.
At this point I hold my breathe hoping that this time will be different. Maybe my friend is truly asking how I'm doing? Maybe they genuinely want to know since I've been so quiet on social media lately.
So far though if it is someone I have not talked to in years and they are asking me how I'm doing it usually means after some small talk they will invite me to try their revolutionary new product or program. Of course I could be part of their team too, because why not, afterall isn't that how MLMs work? Oh, and you can get a discount on all items! Excited yet? I thought not.
I've gotten a lot of messages like this over the years because I'm the fat friend. These enthusiastic friends are asked by their upline who may need the help. Who do they know that could be desperate for change? Who do they know that could use that energy boost? And what about confidence? Scrolling through their list of friends I come to mind almost immediately.
There is the perception that all fat people have a problem. We are seen as unhealthy, unhappy, lacking energy, lacking confidence, and in need of programs like Isagenix, Plexus, and It Works.
I have news for you, if we want to be part of your diet MLM we will seek you out. Quite frankly many of us fat people are happy, confident, healthy, have energy and do not lack confidence. Surprised? That is fine let me explain.
I'm happy being fat. No, really, I'm not lying to you. I don't mind it at all because it means I'm not going through anorexia anymore. It means my bulimia was conquered. It also means my genetic disorder is being controlled.
What? How is that? How could a genetic disorder lead to me being fat? Let me explain.
I have a genetic disorder called Acute Intermittent Porphyria. This particular genetic condition calls for the body to have 300-500 grams per day of carbohydrates to help prevent a porphyria attack from occurring. It is the simplest way to control the condition without being hospitalized.
How does it work?
My body produces a large amount of porphyrins if I do not keep my carb load in check. If I eat too little carbs my liver goes over board creating porphyrins and these porphyrins are hard for my body to process. So I'll go into a porphyria attack. Anyone with porphyria will tell you it feels like you're being stung by a bunch of jelly fish and your organs begin to shut down from the over production of porphyrins. The glucose created by the body from eating carbohydrates keeps all the porphyrin production in check.
So good news, eat carbs and I can hold off an attack for a long time. Bad news, well to anyone trying to get me to join their program, I have to eat many starchy carbs to get the help my body needs. This includes plenty of pasta, rice, and bread.
So realistically I cannot join any of these MLMs or I'll end up in the hospital.
Let's look at Isagenix for example. Three shakes a day, at two grams a shake, means 6 grams of carbs. I was told by one friend that because I'm so fat I could only eat one meal of real food a day and only a half portion. This means if I eat spaghetti I only get 22 grams of carbs. Add that to the 6 from the shakes and you have disaster.
Okay, you say, not all fat people are like you though. This is true, but remember you have no clue of their health history. Many of us fat people are working with our physicians and a lot of the time we are doing well.
The next question what about energy? I've been told all fat people lack the energy to be able to function properly. That is how you aren't able to exorcise right? Wrong again. Many fat people are very energetic and exercise every day. Doing chores, walking, running, stretching. We just are not loosing weight from the exercise no matter how little we eat. There are also larger people who cannot exercise or have little energy from other conditions or disabilities. It is ableist to assume that lack of energy comes from the size of our bodies.
Next question many people ask is, 'what about confidence?' 'What about happiness?' 'I was told my program and products would lead to both. How can you be happy and confident being fat. Many of your friends are happy being the size they are. Some of them absolutely love their size, whether they be fat, thin or somewhere in between. What does impact our happiness and confidence is the fact that someone we perceived as a friend messages us after years of not sending a personal message acting like they genuinely care but as it turns out they wish to push a product on us that we simply do not care for. Confidence in the friendship is broken. Happiness turns into sadness because you feel like the person messaging you does not actually care for your well being, but instead sees dollar signs. That is a hard and harsh reality.
Please stop making us feel like we are not worth checking up on. Please stop seeing us as instant money and team members. We are people. We would like you to ask how we are without pushing a diet on us. Weight is not lost when MLM tactics are used on your fat friends. If you truly care leave the MLM at the proverbial door. Just simply message, "How are you doing? It has been a while." And leave it simply at that.
* Author's note: The term fat is not used here in a derogatory context. It is used as a descriptor that many larger people are just fine using.
Written by Anu Morgan