To all of the new young adult voters out there,
Don't listen to your parents vote for yourself!
The first year that I could vote was 2004. Much like the election you're about to vote in, it was a Presidential election year. It was also the year that gay marriage was being voted on in the state of Michigan. This was before it was federally legal.
Being pansexual, this was a very crucial moment in history for me because it meant I may never be able to get married if I found someone I loved that was the same sex as me. It also meant that other freedoms may never happen in the future for my other LGBTQIA+ friends. I was ready. Excited. And terrified!
I lived in a home where when my parents found out I was bisexual (I hadn't known I was pan at the time) they flipped. I was called downstairs to the dredded "let's talk" blanket. I can still remember the green threads woven in with black. I was told quite pointedly I had no clue what I was thinking. I was told I was involved in thinking that was very dangerous and that, "there will be no dykes or fags in my family." It stung me. My mother sat there in silence, not once saying a word or sticking up for me. She just sat there nodding along and agreeing. My soul was crushed. At the end of that discussion I was not allowed to leave the blanket until I swore I was straight and liked only who they felt I should. I knew conversion therapy was a possibility or homelessness so I lied and said I was straight.
Fast forward to the elections. My family made a huge deal about how the ballot was sick and corrupt. I was told voting on things like this was exactly what led to me thinking it was okay to like those who are not my sex. I was reminded of that "phase" I went through. I was told I had to vote a Republican ticket and against gay marriage or I would regret it. My mother's husband pulled me into their bedroom holding his belt in one hand looking at me sternly. All he said was, "vote for the right thing, I'll know if you don't."
I walked up to my polling location on election day nervous, scared, and sad. My mother drove me to the polls and was quick to follow me to the check in. The person checking me in was a woman in her 50s. She could tell the discomfort in my face. She looked at me saying, "Are you okay?" Shrugging, I just looked at her with what must have come across as a teenage attitude.
Then she did something amazing. She looked at the person helping her and said, "Why don't you get mom set up over there, and I'll help her. Is this your first time voting sweetie?" Nodding she grabbed her paperwork and took me to a table to the side. She signed me in quietly walked me over to where the ballot could be picked up and took me to a voting booth.
Here's what was vital for me to know and vital for you as well! The words she told me were LIFE SAVING!
1) You vote in a voting booth for a reason. You don't show anyone your vote. You owe no one an explanation for your vote.
2) Once you're done at the voting booth you drop your ballot off in the ballot drop off box or insert it into the machine.
3) Don't talk to others on the way to the drop box. No one is allowed to talk to you.
4) No one is allowed to see your ballot after you've cast your vote. If anyone bothers you or comes up to you asking to see your ballot they will be asked to leave.
She assured me I could vote as I like and leave knowing I voted in private.
I was filled with such joy! So excited that I could vote for whoever I wanted and vote to legalize gay marriage in Michigan. It meant I had a voice beyond my parents, a safe space! So this is what I did. I voted the way my heart felt it needed to.
Was my mother mad? Yes, she was fuming she was not involved in the process at all. I lied reassuring her I voted for her values. It's the absolute best lie I've ever told.
I ask any of you stuck in an environment like this if you're able to vote at the polls safely this year to vote with your heart. Vote how YOU wish to, NOT how your parents, churches, family members, and others wish you to.
With the COVID-19 pandemic I understand some of you may be stuck voting by mail which makes voting how you wish a little harder. Here are some tips to help.
Take your ballot to your bedroom or bathroom and vote. Anywhere you usually have privacy. Put your ballot into the privacy envelope, if there is one, and then into the return envelope. Make sure you read all the instructions and sign any place you're asked. Use the correct color ink as well.
Once your ballot is sealed its illegal for anyone but the official election board to open it. If you're not in danger of harm then you can remind your parents about this legality.
If you're feeling intimidated at all by anyone when it comes to casting your vote know that you have options there too. It is illegal to intimidate any voter. You can call your local ACLU for guidance or make a call to the Election Protection Hotline at 1-866-OUR-VOTE or 1-888-VE-Y-VOTA (en Español). I did not know of this at the time or I would have called!
Take the time to look up your voter rights as well. Here is a great link:
https://www.aclu.org/know-your-rights/voting-rights/#someone-is-interfering-with-my-right-to-vote
You've got this! I know it's scary voting beyond what others would like, but it's your right. Remember you're not alone. Many of us have been scared to vote against our family's wishes.
By A. Morgan